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Sonder

Sonder — noun. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own — populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries, and inherited craziness — an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing...

Pop

“Here’s $20. Go buy a pitcher of good beer. You deserve it,” he winked as he slipped the crinkled bill into my now husband’s hand. We were two young kids at my cousin’s wedding, standing near the cash bar. We’d just started dating. And he could see the love in our eyes. I was his grandbaby. A tender 20 years old. And he saw the man at my side, who’d really only been there a matter of months, and he’d...

Deep Cuts

On busy days, my desk is a random collection of papers and objects. In a rush between receiving trauma patients and bouncing between meetings, I toss things down and plan to deal with them later. The other day, I glanced over and saw a scalpel and a tube of nice lip gloss resting next to each. Random for sure, but also stopped me in my tracks. It’s not uncommon to find a surgeon with a scalpel in their pocket…at the ready...

Diastole

Our hearts beat somewhere around 80 times per minute, every minute, of every day, of every year…until we die. When we are stressed, our hearts beat faster; stronger. When the heart squeezes, we call it systole. Our hearts are incredibly strong and efficient, never really resting. But the faster they beat, the less time they have to fill up between beats, the period we call diastole. When diastole is too short, our hearts remain relatively empty and don’t fill up...

On the Flip Side

On October 12, my right leg went weak, numb, tingly, and I had shooting pain from my gluteal region down to my ankle. I did one simple 3-mile run on the treadmill, and by the time I got home…this. I thought maybe I sprained my ankle or something (amazing how doctors forget anatomy and forgo a physical exam when it comes to themselves) so I took some ibuprofen and went to bed. Nope. Same story in the AM. I’d been...

New Shoe Day

Runners…you get me. New shoe day is a near sure bet for a good run. Like running on a cloud… A few days ago was a new shoe day for me. And on that really great run I started thinking about how running has taught me some lessons about living through 2020. Anticipation is often worse than reality. The moments before walking out the door are often fraught with doubt, anxiety, and maybe fear. Did I sleep enough? Eat enough?...

What About Love?

One of our greatest human needs is love. Abraham Maslow put that into perspective for us nearly 80 years ago when he published his theory on the hierarchy of needs. After some food, water, and shelter, before we can achieve self-esteem and realize who we are and what we are meant to be… we need love. His theory has undergone some criticism over the years, but it’s hard to argue that we don’t need love as relatively foundational to achieving...

The Second Line

This COVID thing fascinates me on so many levels. As a surgeon…how the virus affects my patients and how we safely operate on those infected; as a researcher…how we study and learn about the disease; as a wife and mother… how I am protecting my family; and as a leader…how my team, my work community, is impacted physically, emotionally, financially, mentally. I have received dozens of texts, calls, emails, and social media messages asking, “How are you?” “Are you safe?”...

I Know, We Are All Having A “Moment”

The baby is 10 years old now and our firstborn is off to college. I have been done with my professional training for 9 years. We crossed the 20 year threshold in our marriage. We made it. All is well. Right? Right… For so many years, I have moved from one major milestone to the next…high school, college, grad school…marriage, kids, launch the first child…first job, promotion, executive leadership… Now what? Maybe I have lost my view of the next...

Patience

While away from the office the other week, spending some time with friends, I opened my work email (perhaps my first mistake) and found a message with a semi-urgent tone, requesting a project be expedited. A project that remains with unanswered questions and ongoing discussion that the original plan should be revised. I composed a panicked email, then deleted it. Then wrote another email and showed it to my husband and friends, and then deleted it. Finally, I replied, “I...