Remember when we played Four Square in grade school? Remember when, if we didn’t like the outcome of the play, we screamed, “DO OVER!” Do. Over. Like…”Let me try that again, cause I know I can do it better”. Don’t judge me by that bad play. Reset.
There is something about the “Do Over”. The Reset. A clean slate. There are times when our history, our experience, moves us forward, brings us opportunity, gives us credibility. And there are times when our history simply holds us back. There are mistakes and mishaps and misses. We are reminded of our failures by a place, a person, a position; a word, a song, a smell. We are overwhelmed with memories of things that we aren’t proud of or that hurt us…or haunt us, or simply just wear us out. We want to escape…
And we want to Reset. Sometimes, we must fight for it..the marriage, the kids. Reset is not the answer. And sometimes, we must let it go…and Reset. The class. The project. The lifestyle. The house. The job.
I am in Reset. I Reset because of burn out in my career; imbalance in my relationships; numbness in my spirituality; complacency in the care of myself. I Reset my activity…by running. I Reset my spiritual connection…by reading, journaling and praying every morning. I Reset my priorities…by #investinginthemarriage with great intensity. I Reset my diet…by clean eating.
And I Reset my job. Sometimes, I am not sure why I Reset my job. I had a really crazy good job, with great people, and a great place and a good paycheck. But there was something missing. I wanted to be back to my firstlove...academics and research and teaching. It was time to Reset. And this is what Reset looks like. The bits and pieces of my office, neatly piled into 2 boxes. Five years of memories, experience and hard work. I was pretty matter-of-fact about it…until I started putting the boxes together and emptying my files. And loading the boxes and my favorite comfy chair into the SUV with the help of my partner…my friend. Then it stung a little. I know in my head that Reset is good for me, and my family, right now. But it still made me tear up when I drove away from the hospital today. I felt a little lost.
Sometimes the hardest Reset is the one that we choose because we entertain the possibility of regret. Did we made the right decision to Reset? And I would dare say, Yes. Yes, it was right to Reset. Because the regret we have in our lives is more often what we don’t do, than what we do. It’s the chances we never took. The Reset we never had the courage to go through. And while the going away cards and the internet memes and FaceBook will tell us in a few contrite words, “It’s all for the best”, in the midst of Reset there is fear and second guessing; anxiety and loss. But there is also hope. And those who are dear to us, who go through the Reset with us, not get left behind by it, strengthen us. Let’s be honest, we all want to talk about how good it feels to Reset, and it does, but it’s ok to be a little lost along the way, to admit it hurts, to doubt a little.
But let’s choose Reset anyway. Pack the boxes. Load the car. Sell the house. And then rest. And trust that Reset will clear our minds, strengthen our hearts and souls; renew our bodies and our spirits; exhilarate our faith and our relationships. Peace.
Disclaimer: My viewpoints are not necessarily reflective of my employer, or any local, regional or national organization that I belong to. As a matter of fact, I pretty much just speak for myself. Please keep that in mind.