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Weary Soul

Yesterday, I came home from work a little early. I just simply could not. do. it. any. longer. Total exhaustion. I wandered around the house aimlessly, in a fog. While trying to get my younger boys ready for the Cub Scouts Pack meeting, I mumbled my words…or couldn’t find words altogether…they got lost somewhere in my head and I couldn’t get them out of my mouth. “C’mon boys! Put on the…you know…the thing. That…whatever it’s called…” I faded quickly at...

You can’t win a gold medal everyday

Most of us are watching (at least bits and pieces of) the Olympics. We stand witness to record breakers, medal takers, and status quo shakers. Athletes amaze us with their intense focus and tenacity. And overcome with pride, we all tear up when we see our flag raised, in honor of our champions. But we have to know that even those world-class athletes don’t have gold medal performances everyday. I went for a run last night. But about 2 miles...

Real Deadlines

I have had just about enough of this week. Getting four kids ready for school, in a new school, is wearing me out. That sucking sound? Yeah, that’s the audible hemorrhage from our checkbook…new clothes, shoes, and backpacks; computers, pencils, and Kleenex tissues…yes it specified Kleenex tissues. By Monday night, I could be heard saying, “Is this week over yet?” My car was at the dealer for an oil change, the dog was incarcerated at the vet for the weekend so we could go to...

Eyes bigger than time…The Buffet Phenomenon

Seriously. I want to do it all. Every morning, I get up, make my coffee, read, and head into work. I sit in the morning check-out conference with my Handy-Dandy notebook, full of Post-It Note lists of all the things I want to do. We have discussed this before. I want to schedule appointments (eye doctor and PCP and dog grooming), work on my research, arrange for a family picture, apply for a grant, go to the grocery; I want...

These (weary) feet were made for walking

These feet were made for walking…12,234 steps on call last night, all after a painful 5 mile walk/run in the scorching heat yesterday morning. (Touché: Both Jack and Scott told me not to run at 11am.) Taking the stairs more often than not; walking the long, long underground corridor from my office building to the ED; to the OR-for a somewhat intense case; to the call room. And back to my office this morning. I didn’t mean to be so...

Running Away…

Sometimes, I don’t know if I am running away from something or running towards something.–Jennifer Hartwell I had this discussion with a friend last summer when I was pouring over the decision to leave the old job and change trajectory in my career. Probably way too much overthinking going on. Probably reading into things too much. Cause, well, that’s what I always do. The pros and the cons. The good and the bad. The options. The drawbacks and the downsides....

Don’t Miss the Blessing

If you want to know what kind of night you will have on trauma call, you need only look to the skies. Warm, clear, sunny…there will be no rest. It will be busy, steady. And if there is a full moon…brew an extra pot of coffee. You. Will. Get. Crushed. Yesterday was warm and sunny. But the day was not too busy. Surely, the night will not remain calm, I thought. I laid in the bed in the call room, lights...

Do you see what I see?

I went to the optometrist the other day, when I was post call, as that’s when I had time to go. She’s new to me. Because…Reset. A super nice gal. Took a lot of time with me. Chatted up the new town we are moving to and gave me names for a pediatrician, an internal medicine physician, the babysitting service and the local moms’ Facebook page. She cheered me on when I was trying to read the very fine print on...

Sidelined

Marathon: T- minus 35 days. Today’s scheduled run: 22 miles. Mile 1: Hey, I feel pretty good! The weather is nice. Gonna be a good run! Mile 2: Yep. Still feeling good. Whoa! I gotta slow down…not gonna last at this pace. This is a long run! Mile 3: Maybe I can even ditch the gloves. Knee still feels fine. Winning. Mile 4: Hmm…just a little touch of pain in the knee. Not bad. Just stiff. I’m sure it’ll feel totally fine in a few...

Reset

Remember when we played Four Square in grade school? Remember when, if we didn’t like the outcome of the play, we screamed, “DO OVER!” Do. Over. Like…”Let me try that again, cause I know I can do it better”. Don’t judge me by that bad play. Reset. There is something about the “Do Over”. The Reset. A clean slate. There are times when our history, our experience, moves us forward, brings us opportunity, gives us credibility. And there are times...