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April 8, 2023
One of the first things I have had to do in this journey is let go of searching for the “one right thing” and learn to live in the messy middle, the grey zone, the gauzy center. I was raised in a conservative Baptist church and school from birth to age 12 or 13, then we moved to a more contemporary Methodist church. (Much more to come on all of this in future posts). But needless to say, my very...
April 7, 2023
I wasn’t going to do this. No need to hash this out in public. But as I have been wrestling for more than a year now about my journey with (away from?) the church, and the more I realize that many others are doing the same, I wondered if we could learn from each other…so I’m keeping an open journal of this journey. Background: In summary, the 2016 election followed by the response to COVID massively disrupted my faith in...
May 11, 2022
TL;DR: Stay curious. The abortion issue is actually very complicated. Be humble. Listen. Be willing to be uncomfortable in the conversation. As a matter of background, I grew up in the church and had always identified as Republican and pro-life. I questioned little and took it at face value that “abortion is murder, murder is wrong, we have to end abortion”. I remember attending a Rally for Life for the local Right to Life chapter. And pinning a small paper...
April 27, 2022
I’ve been listening to a podcast about the fall of Mars Hill, an evangelical megachurch, and its volatile lead pastor, Mark Driscoll. As I was listening, I noticed I started to feel quite uneasy. Anxious. My heart rate ticked up. My breathing was a little faster. I felt a lump in my throat. A tenseness in my shoulders. I noticed the same feeling when I happened to see a pastor from the church we have just left at my son’s...
July 31, 2019
The other week, I found myself in a humid hotel café in Saba, Honduras, sipping blazing hot, very dark coffee. Too cheap to pay for the international plan for my cell phone, I was soaking up some WiFi before the work of the day with my mission partners from Children of Soledad. I mindlessly scrolled through the US news sites and read about current events back home. Suddenly, from my dusty Honduran vantage point, I was pierced by the words...
May 8, 2019
An email came to my inbox a few months ago advertising an internal position having nothing to do with surgery. I deleted it. Then through a meandering path of conversations, in person and on Twitter, with friends and colleagues both at home and away, I had a change of heart. Something compelled me to desperately dig through my deleted emails until I found this one. I felt a little nauseous dragging it back to my active inbox. I let it...
December 30, 2018
Just a week ago, he was driving long distances to the grave of his long since deceased wife…to pay his respects, to tell her he loves her…again. Now, he is helpless and confused, clinging to life in the ICU after a terrible car accident. His family, exhausted by the days of worrying and rapid changes in his status, has gone home to rest. Suddenly, his heart is racing wildly, his blood pressure drops precipitously. “Can you meet me at the...
September 1, 2018
This post is about death. I am just warning you, in case you don’t want to read any more…if death bothers/scares you. I mean, the title is Death, but I am just saying it again…so you can bail if you want to. (Pause…) Ok, so you are still with me. We are gonna have to talk about this. Death. The finality of it. The horror, the fear, the sadness. And…the wisdom, hope and beauty of death. This week, we said...
August 7, 2018
We recently received a mass email from our Department Chairman that included some updates and general information. Towards the end of the message, he explained that we should expect a meeting invitation for our annual, individual one-on-one meeting with him. He stated the four questions that he will ask, offering them in advance to allow each of us time to contemplate an answer. The last question was, “What are you working on and how can I help you?” I am...
July 7, 2018
I’m staring down the 5lbs that have crept onto my waist and thighs this Spring. We have done a lot of traveling and celebrating…a dear friend’s destination wedding, a milestone anniversary, and our traditional family beach trip. When we got home from Italy, after eating and drinking way more than we usually do, I was convinced I’d moved the needle on the scale, but I had not. Feeling proud of myself for the feat of maintenance while traveling, I thought...